Sitting down with the intention of doing Goal Setting has to be one of my most demoralising, and sadly demotivating, tasks.
Asking myself over and over “What do I want” or “What are my true goals” … I swear it pushes any thoughts or ideas even further from the front of my mind into a place I cannot access! At the best of times, I get frustrated because I know I have things I would like to accomplish and at the worst of times, well let’s just say there is usually swearing.
Then I discovered a new way.
The Average Perfect Day.
Designing your average perfect day is a much easier, a more fun and interesting way to set goals. So close your eyes. I want you to think about your perfect day.
Maybe you’re waking up in a beautiful AirBnB by the sea in the winterless north.
Maybe you’re scuba diving in Fiji, stopping at a deserted island for a beautiful fresh lunch.
Maybe you’re biking through the vineyards of Hawkes Bay before watching the sunset from Te Mata Peak.
We all have an idea of what a perfect day would look like, but most of the time, these are once-in-a-lifetime perfect days. Whilst a Perfect Day is amazing, something to keep on the bucket list or to wish we could live them forever, in addition to this, there’s the Average Perfect Day. That’s the day you would be living if you were living the everyday life of your dreams. Focusing on this day is one way to help you gain clarity on what you want from your life and then get you started on the path to making it happen.
How to map out your Average Perfect Day
In answering this section of the average perfect day exercise, we’re thinking about the practical events of the day – things you would be doing. Grab a notebook and write down your responses to the following:
- Where (house/location) would you wake up?
- What time would you wake up?
- How would you wake up?
- Who would be in the bed beside you?
- What’s the first thing you would do?
- What would your morning routine look like?
- What would you have for breakfast?
- When / where and what time would you go to work?
- What work would you be doing?
- What would you eat for lunch?
- What time would you finish work?
- What would you do in the evening?
- What time would you go to sleep?
- How would exercise fit into your day?
- How would you connect with your friends and family?
- What hobbies would you be doing?
- How would you feel spiritual fulfillment on a daily basis?
Add in feelings to your Perfect Day exercise
Once you have completed the questions, go back and note down the emotions or state connected with each answer.
You don’t have to go into huge detail here – just words like energized, happy, content, peaceful, in flow, rested and so on.
Adding in your feelings turns your perfect day exercise into an emotional experience that will add depth to what comes next.
Craft your Responses into a Story
Story is one of the things that makes us human. We’re hard-wired to connect with stories way more than any fact or statistic.
Don’t believe me? Just think about the different emotional responses you have when you read about tragedies where you have simply numbers versus when you are told a story about a person who’s a victim of said tragedy. This speaks to the connection that story brings.
For that reason, once you’ve got your planning down, then craft the story of your perfect day. Start from the moment you wake up and keep going until you get to bed.
Example: My Perfect Day
I’ve focused on my morning to give you an idea – rather than a lot of ideas!
I wake up at 4.00 am feeling alert, energised and ready for my day. My partner is beside me and our two dogs are cuddled up next to us – either on our bed or on theirs next to ours. Maybe there’s three dogs ?
I get out of bed, go to the kitchen, make a cup of coffee and look at the twinkling lights on the patio. I drink my coffee whilst getting dressed for a workout. After a workout, we return home, shower, and get ready for the day.
In our well organised kitchen, with plenty of storage and bench space, I make a delicious and nutritious breakfast and then head upstairs to my loft office which overlooks the water.
I start with a quick check of my email, comments and clients and then my calendar to make sure I know where I need to be that day. I then quickly check our investment balance which shows a growing amount of money. Once my calendar is sorted, I head out to visit clients.
How to use the average perfect day exercise to set goals
Simply reading the perfect day makes me feel good. But much more than that, it helps me set goals. How?
The most enlightening thing for you when you will complete this exercise is the gap between your current existence and your average perfect day. It’s in that space that goals are made (and that a lot of gratitude can be experienced). Let’s go back to my example to see how.
I already have in my possession (for want of a better word) many of the things that feature in my perfect day:
- my partner
- our dogs
- waking up at 4.00am
- more than one fulfilling job
So right now, I already have the foundations that I need for my perfect life. In addition, many of the additions to my perfect day are well within my grasp:
- even more flexibility in my work
That leaves some of the bigger things:
- having enough money so it’s not a factor in our life choices
- building a loft office
- having that kitchen I love working in
Now you would think all of these depend on money but the reality is that they don’t – at least not as much as you might think.
Take your perfect day exercise and grab three different colored highlighters.
- Highlight those aspects of your perfect day you already have in one color
- Highlighting those ones that are realistic
- Highlight those ones which are a stretch
Once you’ve done that, you can take what you’ve highlighted from 2 and 3 and craft them into goal statements. The gap between the life you’re currently living and your ideal life becomes not only a little clearer – but the path to achieve them becomes a plan that can be executed by taking that information and using it to create goals that will move you forward into your dreams.
What ingredients are in your average perfect day and what goals have you created from them?
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