Knock, Knock, Knocking on 50 Percents Door
I use an app on my iPhone, in addition to my scales and My Fitness Pal and Fitbit, to keep a track of my weight loss. It is called My Weight and one of the reasons I like it is that it produces a nice graph and also shows me progress in percent and over time. For the last few weeks, that 50% progress has been getting closer and closer and I’ve been quite excited about that. I was knocking on the door of half way there. And then I smashed through it.
I know I’ve said it before, that I don’t have a target weight as such, I just want to be healthy. And as much as I think the BMI is total bullshit, I can’t get updated life insurance without being in a more healthy range. Still, breaking through that 50% progress towards a number that is more healthy for my height and age is a huge win for me!
I’ve found the last month really really tough.
Battling the constipation, trying to eat more vegetables to get enough fibre but still leaving room for the protein I need for my daily levels and making sure I drink my fluids – quite honestly, I’m exhausted. I’ve only been to the gym once and I’m a little embarrassed about my step count. Some days I’m quite like to just sit on the floor and have a cry but that’s not going to solve anything. I’ll still get to do all those things above. I don’t want to sound like a moaning minnie – and I know that no one wants to hear about my poop (or lack of), but I feel so alone in this. My family mean well but if one more person says to me “you need to eat”, I’m going to ram one of the big fat marrows growing in our garden right down their throat. I love them to pieces but fucks sakes, I’m a little scared to put anything more in my body!
Combined with the stress of trying to find a job, rapidly running out of money, working on building a business where people think I should give everything away for free – well I know I’m better off than 99% of the world and I have no where near the struggles that other people do. So I should just shut up now aye? Yes, stop whining woman.
We’ve had Mom staying with us so I’ve been making a real effort in the kitchen. Its probably time for a new recipe so I’ll get on to that today! In the interests of making this post pretty and not a total downer, here’s a couple of previews of recipes, and a post about making the most of a small kitchen, to come …
Anyways, I’ll get through and I’m sure it will get better from here. But if you see me, I could honestly do with a hug.